Entry: i still love him Apr 19, 2017

My heart, mind and body yearns so badly for him. Every night I miss his hugs and kisses, every morning I wake up from a dream that we are closely lovingly embraced together.

why did i selfishly went ahead with that movie with the other guy, and told him that we broke up, and lied to one of my best friends? I am in such a mess now and I can't bear to own up to myself. I feel terrible.

All I want to do, is to run into his arms and kiss him lovingly over and over and cry and apologize for all that I have done and beg him to keep loving me.

I feel his love too, I know he misses me a lot. His life is increasingly hard now without me and facing an enormous, almost impossible workload.

I feel so empty and soulless. I have no freedom, no chance to have my own activities, I feel useless at work, I have no motivation, I try hard to be patient with my mom and love her.

I miss him so much it hurts so bad... I want to say to him, I'm sorry... Can we be together again?... How I wish I can be with him...


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