Entry: loud and rude wake up call Jun 6, 2014

for months i have been drowning in self-inflicted pain and depression. i didnt feel enthusiastic about life and neglected my health badly. i didnt exercise, i slept little, i ate shitty foods, i was in a sad mood all the time, i was not living.

i finally had a long talk with him and finally realised i have to let go and depend on myself for happiness, to stop wasting my time working and focus instead on things i really love to do. drawing, creating art. making others happy. he said im retarded to pursue architecture instead when i have this talent in drawing.

my best friend from high school who i used to be really close with and really idolized and loved her whole family.. now she is in terrible shape. i really can't fathom how much pain she is going through right now, as if her life has ended, it is so horrible. i guess i really dont appreciate what ive got till its gone, i should treasure my health more ... how stupid i was to keep crying over something so insignificant...

sigh i still want him so badly... sigh .... i love him....


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